ISLAMIC WAY OF WEDDING

 Islamic Wedding 

Wedding of Fatimah (RadhiAllah Anha)

Fatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) is the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam). Out of all the children, he was the most beloved to him. He said, 'The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is Faatimah.' He also said, 'Faatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me.'

When Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her marriage began to come from high and responsible families. But the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) remained irresponsive. Ali (Radhiallaahu Ánhu), who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to me that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought,

'How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.' 

At last, encouraged by the Prophet's kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry Faatima (Radhiyallaahu Anha). The Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) was extremely pleased and asked, 'Áli! Do you possess anything to give her in Mahr?' I replied, 'Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing.'The Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said, 'A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.'

So, Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) went and sold his armour to Uthmaan (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam). Bilaal (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) was ordered by the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) to bring some perfume and a few other things and Anas (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) was sent to call Abu Bakr, Uthmaan, Talhah, Zubayr with some companions from the Ansaar (Radhiallaahu Ánhum).

When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) recited the Khutbah (sermon) of Nikaah and gave Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) in marriage to Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu). He announced, 'Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Faatimah in marriage to Áli for 400 Mithqaal of silver and Áli has accepted.' He then raised his head and made Duá saying, 'O Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.' after the Nikaah, dates were distributed.

When the time came for Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) to go to Áli's (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry accompanied Umm Ayman (Radhiallaahu Ánhu). After the Éesha Salaat, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) and Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) and made Duá for them.

The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.

In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and easy to fulfill.

SOME METHODS DERIVED FROM THE ABOVEMENTIONED MARRIAGE.

1.  The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shariáh and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient. 

2.  To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect. 

3.  There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places. 

4.  It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride. 

5.  If the father of the girl is an Áalim or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage. 

6.  It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less. 

7.  It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings. 

8.  It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam)? 

9.  The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shariáh. 

10.  There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam. 

11.  Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants. 

12.  It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage. 

13.  The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding a feast has no basis in Shariáh. 

14.  For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qurãnic law of Hijaab. 

15.  It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together. 

16.  Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:

·Presents should be given within one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents);·To give necessary items;

· A show should not be made of whatever is given. 

 17.  It is Sunnat for the bridegroom's family to make Walimah.

Note: In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process. 

18. To delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.

SOME CUSTOMS

In aping Western methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs which are un-Islamic and frowned upon.

Some examples are:

1.  Displaying the bride on stage; 

2.  Inviting guests for the wedding from far off places; 

3.  Receiving guests in the hall; 

4.  The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Shariáh. We should remember that Walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated. 

5.  It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should always remember that our Nabi (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) did not give Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) anything except Duá.

WHAT OUR RELIGION SAID ABOUT Choosing your desire wife

ISLAMIC point of view while

Choosing your desire wife 

  “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” - Surah Ar-Rum, 21.

In this time of happiness, when gifts are received, hugs are generously donated, and laughter sprinkles the tables, we must remember who gave this all to us.

In this verse, Yamtann Allahu Alayna – Allah reminds of us of His favour upon us. Every husband in this room, it is Allah that created your bride. Every bride in this room, Allah created your husband.

 Allah created the pairs and then blessed the pair with love and mercy.

Then Allah says: 

“Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought”. 

Let’s take the time now to give a little thought to Allah’s favour upon us.

Sulayman – alayhis salam – sat his son down one day and taught him about Allah and life. Allah mentions what he said:

"And We enjoined upon man (care) for his parents. His mother carried him, (increasing her) in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years: Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to me is the (final) destination.”

Thank Allah:

1. Every thing that you enjoy, everything that you love is from Allah:

“And whatever you have of blessing (indeed) it is from Allah!”

2. Thank Allah, remember Him and He will remember you. Allahu akbar!

“Remember me and I shall remember you, and be thankful to Me and do not be ungrateful.”

3. Allah will give us more when we are thankful:

“And (remember) when your lord proclaimed, ‘if you are grateful, I will surely increase you; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.”

I’ve heard of Muslims that regularly donate half a million dollars to the Democratic Party to have their picture taken with Clinton and his wife! They place these pictures up in the middle of their homes in all pride and honor.

Yet to every parent, let me draw your attention the most noble picture to put up in your home. Allah ta’ala put His majesty and every parent in this world in a portrait: “Be grateful to Me and to your Parents!”

Scholars have said that being grateful to Allah is to be grateful for the Iman that He has blessed us with. And to be thankful to our parents is to be grateful for the hard work they went through to raise us.

Ibn Abbas raa said, “There are three things that will not be accepted if it’s mate is not fulfilled. (And he mentioned), “Thank Me (Allah) and your Parents...” – Luqmaan 31/14.

Ibn Abbaas continued, “Thus whoever thanks Allah and is not thankful to his parents, Allah will not accept it from him.”

The scholars understood this and set the example for us. Haywah bin Shurayh (ra), one of the Imam’s of our Ummah, used to give classes in front of his home. During the class, his Mother would call him to feed the chickens. He would stand up, leave the Halaqah, and go feed the chickens.

Sufyan ibn Uyaynah – one of the Ummah’s greatest scholars – said, “Whoever prays the 5 salah has been grateful to Allah. And whoever prays for his parents after the Salah has been grateful to them.”

My mother in Law, Ali’s mother once told me about when Ali was young. He would come home from school, run up to her and give her the strongest hug. Then he would top it off with, “Mummy I love you.” She would mention the story and then let a tear drop.

As we get older, words like ‘I love you’ become harder for us to say. Yet as much as it becomes harder for us to say, as much as it becomes more precious to the parents.

I ask Allah ta’ala that we not forget this innocence, when we were without sin, when we used to bring a smile to our parents.

Let’s keep making them smile. And In doing so, we would be thanking Allah.

Marriage Ceremony and procedure in Islam

Marriage Ceremony in Islam 

The Wali.

A wali (guardian) of the bride is necessary to represent her in concluding the contract. The wali is a male relative who would be her guardian if she were a minor, for example her father. However, if he is not available, a brother, uncle, grandfather etc. will suffice. 

If none of these exist then a Muslim ruler or judge, and if they do not exist then a prominent leader of the Muslim community (see Fiqh us sunnah, Syed Sabiq, Sar al-Kitab al Arabi, Beirut, 2nd ed, 1973, vol 2 page 120)."No marriage contract is valid without a wali." - Tirmidhi and Abu Dawood

"A woman may not act for another in concluding a marriage contract, and a woman may not

conclude her own marriage contract." - Ibn Majah and Daraqutni.

The Offer and Acceptance.

Both offer and acceptance must be explicit in mentioning the word marriage (or any other word in any language implying a similar situation). Both statements should be made at the same sitting, i.e. one party to the other.

The Bride's Agreement.

The bride must be agreeable to concluding the marriage by her wali. This agreement should be specific to marrying a specific man and all other conditions, if any, must be agreed upon also.

The Witnesses.

At least two Muslim male witnesses are required or one male and two females - all of them having reached the age of puberty and being of good character.

The Sadaq/Mahr.

The Sadaq or Mahr (dower) is a required marriage gift given by the groom to the bride. It represents his commitment to take care of all the family expenses including her personal needs… "And give women their dower as a free gift." (surah 4 verse 4).

Sadaq may be money or in kind, but it should be specified in its kind and quantity. It may be paid in full at the time of the marriage contract, or postponed until a definite or indefinite date in the future. That which is deferred becomes due upon divorce. The value of Sadaq can be anything from $1 upward (and must be agreed upon by both parties).

The Procedure:

1.  Witnesses and guests take their seats.

2.  The wali of the bride and the groom sit facing each other, close to the witnesses so that they can be seen and heard by the witnesses.

3.  A learned man delivers a short ceremonial speech (see the khutbah at the end of this article).

4.  Then the wali of the bride addresses the groom with the following words or something similar:

"In the name of Allah the Merciful, the Mercy giving, Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and Prayer and Peace be upon the Prophet Muhammed, his family and the companions.

I marry to you my daughter (sister/niece etc - mention the full name) whom I represent, in accordance with Islamic Law and the tradition of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) and for the Sadaq agreed between us." (details of the sadaq and method of payment may be mentioned).

The groom answers:

In the name of Allah the Merciful, the Mercy giving, Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and Prayer and Peace be upon the Prophet Muhammed, his family and the companions.

I accept to marry the woman you represent, in accordance with Islamic Law and the tradition of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) and for the Sadaq agreed between us." (details of the sadaq and method of payment may be mentioned).

[This offer and acceptance should be declared in the presence of the witnesses, Allah is the best of witnesses. By this the marriage concluded and the bride and groom become husband and wife].

5.  To make the marriage publically it is reccomended to have a walimah. The Prophet (pbuh) saw a trace of yellow colouring on Abd al Rahman and asked, "What is this?" He answered, I got married. The Prophet (pbuh) said, "May Allah make it a blesing for you. Make a walimah even with only a sheep." - Bukhari, Muslim and others.

6.  The best way to congratulate the bride and the groom is to say: "May Allah make it a blessing for you and a blessing to you together with all that is good." - Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood 

The Marriage Khutbah:

[This is not essential; the marriage will be legal without it; however, it is Sunnah to have a Khutbah].

Praise be to Almighty Allah, the Sustainer of the Worlds Whom we ask help and pardon. We seek refuge in Allah from the evils within ourselves and from our evil actions. He whom Allah guides no one can lead astray and he who He leaves in error has no one to guide him. I testify that there is no deity but Allah and that Muhammad is His servant and His messenger.

Almighty Allah has created humanity, male and female, each in need of another, and has established the institution of marriage as a means of uniting the souls in a blessed bond of love leading to their pleasure and happiness in a way advantageous to humankind.

The Quran says, "It is He Who has created man from water: then has He established relationships of lineage and marriage: for your Lord has power (over all things). " (25:54)

And He reminds us of His great favors: "And among His signs is that He created for you of yourselves spouses that you may live in joy with them, and He has set between you love and mercy. Surely in that are signs for those who reflect." (30:22)

And Peace and Blessing be upon His great and beloved Prophet and last Messenger Muhammad, who emphatically urged Muslims to marry. He said: "Young men, those of you who can afford to marry should do so. Marriage is the best check for lustful eyes and an effective help to maintain chastity."

Brothers and sisters, at this auspicious moment, we are uniting in the bond of marriage and obedience to the guidance of our Creator and in obedience to the practice of our beloved Prophet (pbuh), our brother (his name) and sister (her name) who have decided to live together as husband and wife, sheltered with the blessings of Almighty Allah and His divine Benevolence. May Allah fill their lives with joy and may He grant them peace, health and prosperity. May they always live together in an atmosphere of tranquility and never diminishing love and tender regard for each other.

10 Health tips for Every women

10 Health tips for Every women

It is a herculean task to manage home, children, family and a demanding job, and at the same time look fresh and radiant. Many women who juggle different roles forget to take care of their diet. All women must take care no matter how busy they are:

1) Always eat some fruit for breakfast because it gives the required energy to detoxify and aids in the elimination of wastes effectively.

2) Drink enough water, cut down tea, coffee to two cups in the day and substitute them by herbal drinks like jasmine, chamoile tea, which are great for skin hydration and a young looking skin.

3) With age, cut down on cereals and eat more of fresh fruits and vegetables to keep the weight off.

4) Walk and do stretches to keep your body supple, slim, youthful and full of energy.

5) Cut down on smoking and alcohol as it ages the skin fast.

6) Increase soy, or fish or sprouts in the diet.

7) Add anti-aging herbs like tulsi, amla, ashwagandha in the routine.

8) Go for natural sweeteners like honey and raisins.

9) indulge in your sinful foods once a week.

10) Positive thinking and a positive outlook can make any women look young and attractive!